Relationship/Marriage Counseling
Marriage Counseling, Couples Therapy, and Relationship Counseling
Marriage counseling, or relationship counseling are generally considered to be interchangeable terms. This type of counseling is available for:
- Married Couples
- Engaged Couples who want pre-marital counseling
- Unmarried Couples
- Individuals who want relationship counseling
Marriage therapy, and relationship counseling have been studied scientifically, and is proven to be effective in helping couples to achieve healthier, happier, and more loving relationships (Psychotherapy Networker, September/October, 2006).
The couples counselors at the Relationship Center of South Florida believe that we co-create our relationships. That is, both partners are responsible for creating the emotional atmosphere and patterns of behavior in the relationship. Relationship counseling can help couples to create new patterns, and a new emotional climate of love and compassion. (The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, John Gottman and Nan Silver, 1999).
Why Couples Seek Marriage Therapy & Relationship Counseling
There are many reasons why couples seek counseling for their relationships, and these are among the most common problems:
- Fighting, and chronic, unresolved conflict
- A pattern of attack-defend-counterattack and blame
- Distance, emotionally and physically (“emotional divorce”)
- Negativity (complaints, criticism, sarcasm, disrespect)
- Poor communication
- Affairs (also flirting, online relationships, and emotional affairs)
- Excessive anger (including abuse, violent acts, and threats)
- Controlling behavior and power struggles
- Substance abuse and chemical dependency
The Components of Couples Counseling & Marriage Therapy
Marriage therapy and couples counseling include the following components:
- 1. Assessment and plan – Preferably done with both partners present. Each person may also be seen for individual therapy to get more history and background information. One or two counseling sessions to review the problem(s) and to agree to the goals and plan for therapy.
2. Discussion – As marriage therapy progresses, we talk about the problems, and identify the basic patterns, cycles, or “relationship dance”, with the goal of deeper understanding and sensitivity to each other’s feelings. Learning to listen without judgment. Working toward compassion and empathy in the relationship.
3. Relationship skill building – Learning how to use the scientifically proven tools that result in successful relationships. These tools can be explained, demonstrated and practiced during the relationship counseling sessions.
4. Problem solving – Resolving conflicts when possible by using the tools described above. Marriage counseling will also help you learn how to manage conflicts that cannot be resolved.
5. Core issues – Identify, clarify, and change the relationship “dance” (repeated patterns and cycles of conflict and distance). At times, there may be underlying, childhood-based experiences, beliefs, feelings, and patterns of behavior which influence our current relationship patterns. The goal in marriage therapy is for couples to understand each other and the dance, have compassion for the underlying needs and feelings, and to support each other with empathy and partnership.
6. Homework – A variety of exercises may be used at home to practice using the tools learned during couples counseling sessions.
7. Follow-up couples therapy sessions – Following completion of the goals of marriage counseling, couples often return for “check-ups” (for example, on a monthly or bi-monthly basis).
The above areas may be covered out of sequence, and some will be emphasized more than others, depending on the needs of the specific couple. Each couple is different, and the number of couples or marriage counseling sessions is determined by each unique couple.
Find out about the cutting edge marriage counseling and couples therapy techniques we use with couples.
To make a couples or marriage therapy appointment, call Richard Loebl, LCSW at 561-955-6090, or send him an email at Richard@RelationshipCenterOfSouthFlorida.com.
